I am an Idiot with a capitol I...

I had a horrible headache. So after work I popped a few aspirin, went to the porch, and layed on the hammock. I left the back door open. My aunt came out for a smoke and told me that she would be out, but would come back around 5pm. I must have fallen into a deep sleep because I didn't hear her leave or anything. I had this intense sensation to go to the bathroom so I woke up half dazed and went to go inside. I noticed the door was closed.."oh sh**" I thought...I went to turn the knob and realized that the door was in fact locked. I remembered my aunt telling me that if I ever got locked out that I should climb through the bathroom window. So I immediately tried to slide open the window. I pushed and pushed and it wouldn't budge...it "must have been locked" I thought to myself. I circled the house checking every window while the neighbors were watching me like I was nuts. Meanwhile keep in mind I still had to pee hard core. So, I am super frustated and I finally came to terms with the fact that I would not be getting into the house. So I peed under the porch. I girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

So I figured I would just chill til my aunt got home. I had no clue what time it was. I didn't have my cell phone or my wallet or anything. I knew my aunt went to work at her office. After what felt like an hour of waiting I decided to go to her office. I saw a brochure that listed the address of where she worked. At this point I was starving. So there I am shlepping up and down looking for her office. After going up and down the street with no luck I decided to head back to the house..."surely she would be home by now" I thought. So I get back home...and still she wasn't there. I was so hungry and I had to pee again and I was beyond frustrated so I go again to the bathroom window (which I tried to open at least five times prior to this) and with all my might I slid the window over. FINALLY I was in! I looked on the window....there isn't even a lock on it. I am an idiot. I was convinced that it was locked because I couldn't get it open...it was just stuck a little. I looked at the clock...it was 6:30. I had waited for at least two hours and the flippin window was open (unlocked...didn't even have a lock no less) the entire time! This is why I am an Idiot with a capitol I!